The Orlando Commandos: The Solsburian Convention at the Grand Floridian

Day One

It all started several months ago when it was decided that the Pacers were
suitable for membership into the Solsburian collective. Since the Pacers
were planning on going down to Florida for their much-deserved vacation, the
inititation would be performed there by Mac Cat, Director of Coffee.

Arrangements were made for Mac to spend two nights with the Pacers, who were spending a week at the Grand Floridian across from the Magic Kingdom.

As plans were made, it was decided at there were three primary missions for this
meeting: One, to initiate the Pacers as official members of the Solsbury
Committee. Two, to perform a ritural sacrifice of Phil Collins LPs (more on
that later) Three, to watch PG videos at least one evening and try to
have as many Golden Gabriel Moments as possible.

On Sunday, the Pacers flew down to Florida and checked into the Grand
Floridian. Kari, the most loved of the Solsburian cabinet and the matriarch of the Pacers, called up Mac and said she already had a PG moment. While she was at the beach, she discovered the cd changer at the pool bar had a copy of So and
every seventh song was a PG song. This will be a key point later in the
story...

After weeks of great anticipation, the day came.

Day One: Wednesday, Aug. 8. After finagling an early day off of work at Day
Job, Mac put on a nifty PG t-shirt and a hat covered in musical notes and PG buttons (given to Mac by Kari) and drove to Orlando, where the Pacers had been staying since Sunday. Mac arrived in the ballroom, a grand place indeed with a live band on the second floor balcony, a grand piano, a giant birdcage, and two massive chandeliers. Mac called the Pacers on her cell phone. Concerned for their whereabouts, Mac said, "Get down here. Now!" and thus they did.

It was a momentous occasion...Kari ran to meet Mac and after lots of hugging, met the rest of the family: Joe Pacer, Minister of Dance, Auguste, the eldest son, and cute twin four year old girls, Riley and Grace. After a brief chat (where it was pointed out that Kari had on a cool "Come Talk to Me" t-shirt from the Secret World tour), Mac decided it was time for the initiation ceremony.

Mac had to find just the right place to hold the ceremony, and it was decided that the center of the lobby would do just fine, as all the security cameras would later provide great footage of the event.

She had the Pacer clan kneel while Mac got out her scepter, which was essentially a stick wrapped in foil and ribbons, and had a few PG buttons stuck to the end of it. Mac then instructed the Pacers to say, "I do" at the appropriate parts of the ceremony, which went something like ths:

"Your faithfulness to the Solsburian Administration has earned you the right to become an official member of the Solsbury Committee. Before you can be formally inducted into the Solsburian Collective, you must take the following oath. Do you promise to love Peter Gabriel, promote his music to the unwashed masses, and support all of his endeavors, including his side projects?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to vocally approve of all of his hairstyles and his wardrobe, even if deep down inside, you don't really mean it?"

[A short pause.] "I do."

"Do you promise to support the Solsbury Hill website, and report on all worthy news that you find?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to promote the Solsbury Hill website and give out the URL at every possible opportunity?"

"I do."

"What's the URL again?"

"http://www.solsburyhill.org!"

"Good. Do you promise to behave in a manner befitting of a Solsburian?"

"I do."

"Do you reject Phil Collins and all of his evil deeds?"

"I do!"

"Do you promise to blame Phil Collins for everything?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to give Mac Cat all of your earthly belongings?"

"I do."

"That was a trick question to see if you were paying attention!"

"We'd do anything for you, Mac Cat!"

"Hmmmm..." [Makes mental note.]

"Do you promise to uphold the good reputation of the Solsbury Committee with dignity, respect and honor?"

"I do!"

Mac then whacked the Pacers with the big shiny stick. Okay, it was more like she lightly tapped them on the shoulder, but the point is, at that moment, they were initated into the Solsbury Committee. "I now declare the Pacers as members of the Solsbury Committee. Joe and Kari Pacer, please remain kneeling while the Gabelets come forward to receive their cool Solsburian swag."

Mac then gave the kiddies some tacky Florida pens and activity books, some plush manatees, personalized bookmarks, and some other stuff. Afterwards, Mac said, "And now I present Kari and Joe Pacer with their official Solsburian identification cards." And Mac put lanyards around Joe and Kari, with the Solsburian IDs. "And finally, I present you with the Rubber Alligator of Truth and Justice." With that, Mac gave the Joe and Kari a large rubber alligator (And nothing says, "I love you, from Florida!" like a rubber alligator.), with a parchment rolled up and jammed inside it's jaws. The parchment read: It Is Hereby Decreed that The Pacers Are Now Honorary Solsburians of the Highest Degree. Their Supreme Intelligence, Charm and Stunning Good Looks Have Made Them Worthy of This Honor. Certified by Mac Cat, Director of Coffee.

After the presentation, it was decided that it was time for Mac to check into her room so mission #3 (see above) could take place. This proved to be a bit more of a challenge than expected.

Front desk clerk: Okay, we have your room available to you for one night.

Kari: You mean, two nights.

FDC: No, one night.

Kari: We booked Mac's room for two nights. We had it confirmed that room was for two nights when we checked in on Sunday.

FDC: Do you have a confirmation number?

Kari: No, we booked through a travel agent, and only they have the number. But we had it confirmed that room was for two nights when we checked in on Sunday. Clearly there's some mistake. We need a room for two nights.

FDC: Well, we're fully booked for tomorrow night. We can put you on the reserve list if anyone cancels at the last minute.

Kari: How likely is that to happen?

FDC: [checks computer] You'd be tenth on the waiting list...

Kari: We pre-paid for that room! We need a room for two nights!

[This "we want our room!"/"Sorry we can't help you." dance continues for fifteen mintues between Kari and FDC.]

Kari: I want to speak to a manager!

[Mac offers Solsburian scepter to start whacking people with. Kari declines.]

Manager: How may I help you?

["We want our room!"/"Sorry we can't help you." dance continues for fifteen mintues between Kari and manager.]

Mac: I'm hungry and tired.

Kari: [to manager] We seem to be at an impasse here. Let my friend check into her room and we'll be back to discuss this later.

So the Solsburians went to Mac's room with a bit of a heavy heart...if there was no room left for a second night, that would possilby mean having the already short trip be cut even shorter. They decided that it was all Phil's fault. He learned that the Solsburians were going to perform a sacrifice, and he wanted to inconveinence them as much as possible.

However, there was an upshot: Because the hotel was overbooked, the only room left meant Mac would get an upgrade. With what was supposed to be a "regular" garden room, she wound up with a fourth floor dormer room with a private balcony overlooking the lagoon. They stepped into the room and lo! It was beautiful! The balcony looked right out at the lagoon and the Contemporary Resort across the way.

While Mac settled into the room, the Pacer's presented her with a gift, but first the backstory: For years, there has been a fascination with the hat Gabriel wears in Eve and in the Lovetown video. It looks like a cool hat, but it's difficult to tell what exactly kind of hat it is. The Bright Bio defines it as a Homburg, but Solsburian research discovered that wasn't quite right. Angel and Mac got into a fight years ago because Angel purchased a hat that she thought was a Lovetown fedora, but Mac said it looked more like a flamenco dancer's hat without the fringe. Mac finally decided that while a Blues Brother's style hat wasn't right either, it was close enough to be used as a disguise to be a Solsburian in Black.

Well, Joe Pacer had hit the jackpot: He bought himself the coolest, most Lovetown-y-est fedora thought possible. He then bought Kari a the same hat, which she loved greatly. And as a gift, the Pacers gave Mac the same hat, which Mac wears with great pride. And it's water resistant and packable, which is perfect, say, for someone who is planning on going to Europe in Septemeber. Kari also gave Mac some more PG buttons, and a cd rom of Genesis footage.

Anyway, on with the show...since the GF didn't provide and VCRs, Mac Cat had to pack her own, which Joe was able to connect to the room's tv. Afterwards, Joe went off to spend the evening with the kids, whilst Kari and Mac prepared to spend their evening chatting and watching PG videos.

Mac had created a sign that she taped on the hotel room door that read, "Welcome to the Solsbury Cineplex. All Peter Gabriel Videos all the the Time!" and it included a list of movies that the Solsburians would be watching such as PoV, Cv, Secret World Live, and All About Us.

Wearing their Lovetown fedoras, and after opening the bottle of wine Mac had brought, Kari and Mac put Secret World Live in the VCR. While it was playing, they would stop to make commentary on Gabriel's performance, as well as chat a bit about things going on in each other's lives. It was a wonderful experience, and things were going along quite nicely until Mac remembered that she was hungry.

Kari came up with a brilliant idea: Order room service (or as the GF calls it, private dining.) They called up and ordered some food, and within minutes it was brought up by a GF employee named Will. Will was cool, and didn't even seem alarmed that he was greeted by two women wearing black fedoras. Ever observant, he noted the sign on the door, as well as PG t-shirts, buttons, and other items strewn about, Secret World Live playing on tv, and asked if Kari and Mac were PG fans. After answering in the affirmative, Kari said, "We're the Solsbury Committee and this is Mac Cat, webmistress of the premiere Peter Gabriel fansite on the Internet. Can we take your picture?"

"Uh, sure," Will said. So Kari took his picture as he stood next to the tv playing Secret World Live.

So, as they continued to watch Secret World Live, Mac and Kari ate dinner, drank some more wine, and Mac talked about the strange things that happened during her Day Job right before the GF visit.

After dinner, Kari and Mac popped in Cv, and Mac dragged out her suitcase which was loaded with cool PG swag such as magazine covers, pictures, articles, the Human Rights Now! Tourbook, the Gallo book, many other items, many of which once belonged to Mr. Mozo. Kari was much impressed by all the Gabrielness of the items, and it clicked for the first time that the Domehead article was something that was published in an actual magazine.

Then, there was a crisis: They were all out of wine! So Kari called Private Dining once again and ordered up a bottle of wine. So they continued to watch Cv and browse through all of the PG swag while waiting for the wine. Within minutes, cast member Ruth arrived with the wine. She seemed quite pleasant, and commented on what a great room we had and hoped that we would have a nice stay. Mac wryly commented that if the management had their way, she wouldn't be staying for long. They told their tale of woe involving the room botch-up, to which Ruth was very sympathetic to their plight and encouraged them to do whatever it took for justice to be served. She even gave the names of certain people to talk to that could help fix the problem. Deciding that Ruth was cool, Mac asked, "Hey, have you heard of Peter Gabriel?"

"Erm, no." Ruth said.

"Close enough. Mind if we take your picture?"

"Uh, sure," Ruth said.

"Here hold this," Mac said, as she handed Ruth a copy of Apple magazine with Gabriel on the cover. After the picture was taken, Ruth went merrily on her way and Mac and Kari decided finish going through Mac's PG reading materials, and then they decided to watch a bit of PoV.

At that point, Mac asked Kari about her life story...how did she get introduced to Gabriel's music, how did she meet Joe, and how did they end up vacationing in Orlando? So for the next hour and a half involved Kari discussing her life story in hushed tones, to which Mac would occasionally say, "Uh-huh. Okay. And then what?" At certain times, they would stare at the tv and drool at Gabriel for a few mintues, and then Kari would get back to her life story. And the wine flowed freely.

Around 12:30 am, there was a knock at the door. Thinking that some PG fan saw the sign and wanted to join in on the fun, Mac rushed to the door. To her surprise, she saw a GF Cast Member in a personnel uniform and also wearing a microphone headset. This man appeared to be a freakish amaglamation between Charlie Brown and Drew Carey: An overweight, nerdy corporate wonk with a frighteningly large and round head. Unfortunately, Mac was so stunned, she didn't think to take a picture.

It spoke. "We've received several complains about the volume of the laughter and music in the room. Please keep the volume down."

Mac was indignant and was about tell the man the truth: That they had been quiet for the past few hours, and the music had never been up past a third of the volume on the tv set. However, considering that Mac had answered the door while wearing a black fedora and sunglasses, was holding a glass of wine, and was standing next to a sign that read "Welcome to the Solsbury Cineplex!" she decided that it wasn't worth trying to convince the corporate wonk of their innocence. Mac just muttered, "Okay. Yeah, whatever" and closed the door.

Both Kari and Mac were shocked by getting a warning from Charlie Carey. After much pondering, they came up with the following theories.

(1) Superman was next door, and with his super-sensitive hearing, it was probably too loud.

(2) Things had been noisy hours earlier when Will showed up with dinner. Perhaps Grand Floridian security subleases from Real World, which would explain the delay.

(3) Will and Ruth went up to their loser can't-get-a-date co-worker and said, "Hey! There's these two ladies on the fourth floor who are drunk, totally obsessed with Peter Gabriel, and have been watching concert videos for the past few hours. They'll do anything for a guy wearing a headset!" Once he saw Mac in her fedora, he realized that he was way out of his league, spit out a lame warning to act as a cover-up, and left.

Finally, Mac and Kari decided on theory #4: It was all Phil's fault. Anyway, this incident amused the Solsburians so much, they couldn't stop laughing, which probably wasn't security guy's intention. After watching a little bit of All About Us, Kari decided it was time to head back to her family, and Mac finally decided it was time for bed.

Tune in next time when our heroes go to Typhoon Lagoon and the Magic Kingdom.

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