Too Much Time On Our Hands
The "Adam" Swatch is a watch with a melody written
by Peter Gabriel. We've heard since the PG Swatch went over so
well, they might release more musician-inspired Swatches. Here's
some for the drawing board:
- They Might Be Giants Swatch: They've got a Swatch
with a minute hand, millenium hand and an eon hand. (Lyrics to
TMBG's "Particle Man": "He's got a watch with
a minute hand, millenium hand and an eon hand, when they meet
it's a happy land...")
- Rolling Stones Swatch: Plays "Time is On My Side"...it
keeps tickin' even though it looks like it might die at any moment.
- Rock 'n Roll Swatch (General): Insures that you are
always 10-20 minutes late to the scheduled concert start time.
- Sting Swatch: Swatch with no time mechanism. Who needs
a watch when you think you know everything anyway?:)
- Phil Collins Swatch: After running a long time, it'll
one day just quit on you and then denounce you. Special feature--a
simple press of the button allows the wearer to send a fax!
- Lamb Lies Down On Broadway Swatch: Simply counts out
time.
- Weird Al Yankovic Swatch: Plays a polka parody of
the Peter Gabriel Swatch tune.
- The Salvador Dali-Peter Gabriel III Special: This
Swatch will look like the face is melting, but only on one side.
If you have some Swatch-y ideas to add to this list, send them
on over, like Laura already did:
- Michael Bolton Swatch - Everytime it chimes you want
to smash it into a million bits.
- Bruce Springsteen Swatch - Sounds a new chime every
four years.
- Milli Vanilli Swatch - It looks great but plays someone
else's song.
- Beatles Swatch - When you wind the watch backwards
it chimes "I buried Paul."
- Pearl Jam/Nirvana Swatch - Chimes a depressing tune
about teen angst.
- Jimmy Buffet Swatch - Pours you a margarita on the
hour.
- The Musical Box Swatch - An Genesis Swatch knock off
made in Canada.
- Grateful Dead Swatch - lights up a doobie on the hour.
- Xplora 1 Swatch - Plays a cool tune but won't work
in Windows 95.
These come from Angelique:
- Michael Jackson Swatch: Changes color
- Alanis Morisette Swatch: doesn't tell time. You oughta
know.
- Tina Turner Swatch: it looks new, but it's really
*really* old.
- Courtney Love Swatch: makes a whole lot of noise and
when you try to stop it, you get a guitar slammed in your face...
Cap'n Zero has been nice enough to donate a few good Swatch
ideas:
- The PG "Here Comes the Flood" Swatch - Water
Resistant
- The PG "Shock the Monkey" Swatch - Shock
Resistant
- The PG "Sledgehammer" Swatch - Impact Resistant
- The PG "Rhythm of the Heat" Swatch - Comes
pre-smashed
Top 10 Stupid Questions Asked About the Adam Swatch
- 10. Does it come in different colors?
- 9. Does it come in different flavors?
- 8. Is that real blood? (Vampires only)
- 7. It plays music, eh? Does it take requests?
- 6. What's it like having a mini discotechque on your wrist?
- 5. How did the second hand get broken?
- 4. Who designed the watch?...Well, who is this "Peter
Gabriel"?
- 3. Do you think Tori Amos will come out with one?
- 2. Since it's a Peter Gabriel Swatch, does it always run
slow or something?
- 1. Does anybody *really* know what time it is?
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Time for "Back to Humor"