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Ten Things That Could Have Gone Wrong on the Growing Up Tour,
but Didn't
10. Melanie's boat capsizes.
9. Zorb deflates, trapping Gabriel inside a soggy wad of plastic.
8. During "Solsbury Hill" Gabriel gets a citation for
breaking local bike helmet ordinance.
7. When group gathers to sing a capella intro to Mercy Street,
some mysterious force causes them to break into "Excuse Me"
instead, bringing the show to a screeching halt.
6. Someone switches screen projection of the Barry Williams Show
video with footage from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, much
to the mass confusion of the audience.
5. Activists wearing "Free Ged Now!" t-shirts storm
the stage and tear apart the curtains that cover the drum kit
during "Darkness" and/or "Signal to Noise".
4. After "Downside Up", the crew raises the rig to the
ceiling before PG and Melanie have a chance to detach themselves.
Sudden fear of height causes Gabriel to scream like a banshee,
causing the amps to explode.
3. Electrical problems causes roadie who follows PG around with
an extention cord during "Sledgehammer" to get severely
zapped--goes down in rock history as the "Shock the Flunky"
incident.
2. Oakland gig overran by Radier Nation fans who riot before, during
and after the concert for no apparent reason.
1. Gabriel brakes too suddenly while on bike and falls on the
crossbar, resulting in him singing an octave higher for the rest
of the show.
10. When is Up gonna be released?
9. How do you project those voices into my brain when you're all the way over there and I'm way over here?
8. About Up...any idea when it will be out?
7. What's the square root of 743?
6. In an interview you said that you tend to gain weight during album production. Are you trying to tell us that Up is going to be a double album?
5. What on earth is a fruitcage?
4. In the CD ROM Eve, what do I do with the stick? I tried giving it to the dog but he doesn't want it.
3. Now that OVO is finally finished, when is Up going to be released?
2. Boxers or briefs?
1. Will you marry me?
Oh, and any casual fans out there who saw the interview and was wondering what Gabriel was on about when he talked about the "birdy song" and having people dance at his funeral, go here for an explanation.
15. It's written in crayon.
14. Instead of a picture of Peter on the cover, it's a picture of some guy the publisher dragged off the street.
13. Not only did Gabriel sue the publisher to prevent the book from being published, the author sued the publisher to prevent the book from being published.
12. "Gabriel" is misspelled throughout the book.
11. The first sentence reads, "Peter Gabriel was born on May 13, 1950..."
10. The forward is written by William Shatner.
9. Amazon.com is giving it away free with any purchase. Even any purchase from Barnes & Noble.
8. The bulk of the book consists of Gabriel's tax returns from the years 1984 to 1992.
7. It's written by Albert Goldman, who is not only the most hateful writer to ever pen a musician's biography, he's also very dead at the moment.
6. Instead of featuring photographs, it contains cartoons of PG.
5. It's written by this guy.
4. It is written by a guy who's only contact with Gabriel was when he accidentally bumped into him in a train station, an experience that lasted three seconds.
3. The entire 580 page book consists of list item #4.
2. A chapter is devoted to Phil Collins whining about how Gabriel got all the attention in Genesis, then left the band in the lurch by quitting.
1. The book is nothing but a compilation of Top 10 Lists.
Top 10 Proposed Names for Peter Gabriel Fans
We thought about doing an April Fool's joke on these pages, but (1) we were too preoccupied by the new Gabriel song and (2) we knew that the average Gabriel fan (yes, we realize "average Gabriel fan" is an oxymoron) is far too intelligent to fall for any such trivial pranks. Of course, we couldn't help but brainstorm for some ideas. Here they are:
Top 10 April Fools News Stories That Peter Gabriel Fans Are Too Smart to Fall For
Top Ten Things That Could Have Gone Wrong With the Secret World Tour, But Didn't
Many have already voiced a negative opinion about the *second* disc of the Princess Diana tribute album, which features the Spice Girls, Michael Bolton, the Bee Gees, and Mariah Carey.
We say, why waste a disc?
Alternate Uses for the Disc Two of the Princess Diana Tribute Album.
Top 10 Reasons Why It's Taking PG So Long to Finish The Album
1. He's conducting a psychological experiment to see at which point would fans become barking mad so he could write a song about it (kinda like Milgrams 37.)
2. He's playing Riven and he's been spending months trying to figure out how to step out of that (open) cage at the very beginning. (Hint: Click *anywhere on the screen to step outside.*)
3. He can't complete a lyric because he can't find a word that rhymes with "applesauce".
4. Inspired by Moxie, he went and got a kitten of his very own and he's been in a state of foggy bliss ever since.
5. He's determined to win ten in a row in tic-tac-toe as featured on Xplora 1.
6. PG is hesitant to make a new album because that would mean making more videos, and that usually entails him sitting still for 16 hours at a time with either blue paint or slugs on his face.
7. Is too busy trying to scrounge up some money to buy the new Genesis boxset.
8. He doesn't have time to finish the album now that he's the new James Bond!
9. PG is busy trying to find an engineer who knows how to work this thing!
10. Tired of only dealing with *good* artists who produce *good* art, PG is trying to collaborate with this organization to make the artwork for his new album, and such deals take time!
Top 10 Ways Riven Would Have Been Different if It Were Created by Real World Mulitmedia
Note: it would help if you've played Riven, Xplora 1 and Eve to get most of these references. If you haven't...erm, use your imagination!
10. Mag-Lev car is equipped with a six CD disc changer and bitchin' speakers.
9. Those drums by the submarine? Now you can play them!
8. Instead of hiding, the Rivenese people are all too happy to show you their culture in music, art, and dance.
7. When you finish the stone circle puzzle, you are rewarded with icons, sound files, and a screen saver!
6. Instead of boring footage of Gehn in the imager, you can watch the award winning Sledgehammer video instead.
5. In their journals, Atrus and Catherine are not content to just express concern for each other's saftey, but they ponder the meaning of male/female relationships as well.
4. Not only do you get to see great scenery, but you can also spin 360 degrees thanks to Apple VR technology!
3. You can see what's outside of Gehn's office, but only after you obtain a special backstage pass.
2. When you click on the beetle in the jungle, you get to hear a background loop for "Shaking the Tree".
And the number one way Riven would have been different if it had been created by Real World Multimedia...
1. As of this moment, the development of Riven would be in the early planning stages.
10. Someone accidentally spilled coffee on
the keyboard.
9. Too busy watching the participants in this
room.
8. Couldn't concentrate in anticipation of VH1 Honors, coming
to you on April 28!
7. The repeated actions of the animated gif on this
page hypnotized the entire homepage committee, causing us
to wander around like zombies.
6. Many Solsburians took the week off to audition to replace Phil
Collins as lead singer of Genesis.
5. No one here can listen to PG tunes and type html at the same
time.
4. Coffee machine broke down, temporarily causing widespread chaos
and panic.
3. Solsbury eagle mistook computer mouse for a real rodent and
tried to eat it.
2. We swore that we wouldn't work on this page until we went through
each and every link on Breiner's
page.
1. We allowed the Radio
Real World homepage team to work on Solsbury Hill for a week,
so obviously nothing got done:-)
Reasons why the Hill hasn't been updated in about a month:
10. It looks like we have about a year before any real news turns up...what's the rush?
9. We didn't want to update until we checked out every link on this page. That and we're also thinking about doing a page like that of our own.
8. Too busy listening to an infinite loop of the MPEG file of Gabriel's new recording on Tony Levin's page.
7. Too busy playing with the new interactive animation at The Church of Peter Gabriel.
6. In honor of the upcoming Star Wars film, we're training Moxie to become a Jedi Knight. (She already has the power to control minds.)
5. For Mother's Day, we promised our moms we'd wouldn't spend so much time online.
4. We've got Spring Fever, which means we've been outside chasing butterflies, flutterbies, gutterflies...
3. Too busy contemplating the nuances of the English language.
2. Too busy adding two more survey answers to the list.
1. Reading all of the previous "release date" claims on The Making of Peter Gabriel's UP page caused us to laugh so hard we couldn't type.