By Laura Moss
I'm sure you've heard by now about the British scientist who has cloned an adult sheep. Well over lunch today, I happed upon this deep psychological thought of the moment for the Hill.
If this researcher could only clone Peter Gabriel. Imagine if you will, a legion of Peter Gabriels.... The ramifications are staggering:
1) If PG were cloned, does that mean that the new album will come out any sooner?
2) There would be enough of PG to literally go around. Anyone who wanted to marry him, could marry him (and you and Angel wouldn't even have to share).
3) Projects that have been put on the back burner would not longer be relegated to languish. Imagine all the ideas that PG could bring to fruition, simply because he would now have lots of time (and Peters) to complete the tasks at hand (ie. the theme park, the song book, the odds and sods album).
4) A legion of Peter Gabriels would negate the need for taxing and lengthy world tours. Each clone could be assigned to a country. The world tour would take about a week.
5) Imagine the overtime that 250 Peter's could earn!
6) Imagine how popular he would be with the ladies. You'd never know if 6 Peter Gabriel's would show up for your date.
7) No longer need expensive studio engineers to lay in layered vocal tracks. Peter would just show up for the recording session with 3 clones and they could lay down all the background tracks at once. A Peter chorus if you will.
8) He'd never be late for work again. If he wants to sleep in he could always send a clone into work for him. Conversely, if there is a dull meeting he is anxious to get out of, all he has to do is send in a Peter in his stead.
9) He could retire to Cleethorpes tomorrow, get rest, relaxation and a stunning British suntan. No one would be the wiser because everyone would really think that it is he who is holed up in the studio, the gym, the cafeteria, at home etc....
10) When you get "stuck" with Eve, you can always have a Peter come over personally and help you out.
11) He could finally rejoin Genesis without compromising his solo career.
1) It is still unsure whether or not a clone "maintains" it's duplication accuracy. For example, does each clone become "fuzzier" with each cloning (like what happens when you make a xerox of a xerox of a xerox?) See the movie Multiplicity for further details. [Editors note: Even worse...you might hear this: "Omigosh! Gabriel #249 is mutating into...AAAAAAAAAA! Phil Collins!"]
2) Getting through customs at the airport is bound to be a bitch. Most passport agents probably wouldn't know how to process 21 Peters.
3) Would you have to get a birthday gift and card for each Peter?
4) And what about Christmas... the fireplace mantel is bound to collapse under the weight of 250 Peter Gabriel Christmas stockings.
5) How would you divide the music royalties among so many Peters?
6) If one committed a crime or did some other dastardly deed, would they 'fess up or pass the blame onto the next unsuspecting Peter ("Peter did it, no! HE did it, no I didn't, that Peter did it!)
7) The care and feeding of so many Peters is bound to be a logistical nightmare.
8) He could rejoin Genesis without compromising his solo career.