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Merc: You know, I still can't believe that John found that tape.
Mac: No joke! And just thinking about who he got it from gives me the creeps!
Eve: The Holy Grail. Just imagine! The goal of countless quests...
Merc: Well, now, Eve, don't get too excited. It's not *the* Holy Grail.
Eve: Don't be too sure!
Mac: C'mon, now, Eve. Wasn't the Holy Grail supposedly Jesus' cup from the last supper?
Eve: In the most popular version of the story, yes. But there have been other accounts. The Grail has also been described as a stone, a serving tray, and--my personal favorite--a salver holding a severed head.
Mac & Merc: Eww!
Mac: None of those sound anything like a professionally taped, complete video of a live Lamb performance.
Eve: Oh, come on, guys, it's obvious! A severed....head? Get it? It's an obvious reference! No question about it, the Lamb trancends time and space. It *is* the Holy Grail!
Merc [whispering to Mac]: Look, I warned you about these religious nuts. We should never have invited her. She's a fanatic! Completely unhinged!
Mac [whispering]: Well, but she seemed so reasonable at first.
Merc: Eve, I can't just let this pass. Any sane person knows that the Holy Grail was never a stone or a cup or a platter or even a video tape, no matter how rare or sought after. You can't take stories like that literally. Anyone with half a brain knows that the Holy Grail actually refers to a holy bloodline which has been kept secret for centuries as a part of a worldwide conspiricy, not some sort of sacred tableware.
Mac: What? Are you out of your mind?
Eve: Oh? What bloodline would this be?
Merc: The bloodline of Jesus Christ, of course. It's obvious--Peter Gabriel must be the direct descendant of Jesus Himself! So you can forget that crack brained idea of yours about this video. Peter himself is the Grail. He's probably surrounded by Knights Templar wherever he goes, you know, to guard him and stuff.
Eve: I've never heard anything about Knights Templar guarding PG.
Merc: Of course not--they're a secret organization! That just proves my point, see?
Mac: You're both insane! Don't you ever read those links I post for people just like you? The Skeptic's Dictionary, The Straight Dope--sites that give you *real* information, not crazy conspiracies or mystical foolishness! Now stop, both of you, and use your heads. Think rationally. A video tape that exists centuries before the performance it documents, or even the invention of videotape itself? Eve, you should be ashamed of yourself. And you, Merc...a secret organization whose proof of existence is that no one knows they exist? Honestly! It's just not logical.
Eve: So you don't believe in the Holy Grail, then?
Mac: Oh, sure I do. It's just that I know that the Holy Grail is really the machine that extra-terrestrials gave to the Isrealites in the desert. You know, the one that manufactured manna. See? Now, don't you feel silly now that you've heard the rational explanation?
[Alarm sounds for the Hexfield. Mac hits the button. Crary appears on the monitor]
Merc: Don't tell us--*you've* got a theory about the Holy Grail, too.
Crary: Nope. People who believe in stuff like that have lost their grip on reality. Besides, I have enough to worry about, what with Mr. Rogers persecuting me and all.
Mac, Merc, and Eve [singing]: It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor, would you be mine.....
Crary: Proof right there! Peter Gabriel's minions warbling Fred Rogers' evil song! I'm reporting this to Amnesty International! Now, get back in the theater and read those lyrics and liner notes!
[Alarm sounds lights start flashing, floor starts shaking. Every one starts running around screaming in a panic. Liner notes sign flashes.]
Mac: Oh, no, we've got liner notes sign!
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