It's true...Phil is evil! Even the professionals agree on that. And if you want a great long essay on why Phil is blamable, go here!
It all started during Angel's visitation to the Hill. We had made a trip down to visit Lith and not everything had gone as planned. The weather was crummy. We were tired from partying the night before. The traffic was horrendous, and we couldn't agree on a place to stop and eat. Soon, we took to blaming each other for our misery.
Lith, the voice of reason, said, "Hey! Don't blame each other for everything that goes wrong..." [Dramatic pause.] "...Blame Phil Collins!"
The darkness cleared away from our eyes...it all made sense.
When we finally found a place to eat, Angel complained that her sandwich was not cut in half. Someone reasoned, "It was cut in half at first, but then Phil Collins came along with a blowtorch and soldered it back together."
"Damn Phil!" we chanted.
"It's Phil's fault the weather is so yucky and rainy."
"Damn Phil!"
Later on, we drove to the beach, where we tried to point out to Angel how soft the white sand is. Only the sand wasn't soft, it was hard. "Phil took all the cool sand." We all laughed as we invisioned Phil with extremely bulging pockets...
It's hard to say why Phil is good choice for a scapegoat. After all, at one time Phil and Peter were probably good friends. Early video evidence shows that Phil was one of the few people who laughed at Pete's jokes, and together Phil and Peter created the modern drum sound. Peter has and still does respect Phil as a great drummer.
But there are certain things that makes Phil a good canadate to be blame-ee of all things.
Due to a technicality, Phil wasn't nominated for an Oscar. He bitched and moaned about it constantly during a Rolling Stone cover interview. Bad move.
Made the mistake of playing *all* the instruments on Both Sides. Most musicians have figured out that great music is made best not alone.
Wanting to prove himself a fine musician, Phil insisted on playing "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes on Late Night with David Letterman. It sounded hideous, plus he completely fluffed a climatic note. Okay, so he's not a bagpipe player, most of us aren't, so that's forgivable. But then a few weeks later, he appeared on the Tonight Show, played the same song on the bagpipes *again* and botched the *same note*. If Phil was going to force us to listen to his bagpipes again, the least he could do was made damn sure he nailed that note!
Phil has written lyrics that have inspired legions of Hallmark employees, but Phil himself would just as soon send a fax to express his feelings.
There are other reasons why Phil is somewhat blameable (one is that Michael Bolton has gotten to be too easy a target) but there are positive aspects of this blaming thing: convienence for one. The graphics won't load on your page? Blame Phil. Server acting up? Blame Phil. Stereo is not working right? Blame Phil. It's taking too long for Peter Gabriel to come out with a new album? First, blame Peter, but then for good measure, blame Phil!
And think of the unification possiblities of blaming Phil. If everyone in the world blamed Phil, then it truly would be a unified planet. Instead of blaming each other, we could blame Phil. Imagine: blame Phil for world peace!